What was your Cannonball Experience?
The Diocese of Shreveport has a rich history with St. Ignatius Loyola. It was Jesuit priests, from the religious order he founded, who helped bring Catholicism and much more to this part of our state. Our Cathedral of St. John Berchmans (named after a Jesuit), proudly displays a painting of Ignatius in the sanctuary, while our high school in Shreveport also bears the Loyola name. Ignatius is even the middle name of our bishop. And beginning in May of this year, Jesuits worldwide began celebrating an “Ignatian Year.” For it was in May of 1521, five hundred years ago, that Ignatius Loyola, outnumbered and outflanked, arrogantly led a battle against an overbearing French army when a cannonball shattered his right leg. Taken the long trip to the castle at Loyola, his recuperation was brutal and brought weakness and pain that almost led to his death.
Yet, during the long road to recovery, the eyes of his heart were opened enough that he surrendered his vain ideals of being a great soldier and frequent womanizer to become a pilgrim for Christ. Much more than the bones in his leg were shattered that day. His dreams of being famous, well-dressed, rich and attractive to women were also destroyed. He was left empty to the point that Christ filled his heart, and his life-long conversion began. His cannonball moment that took his fame, his vainglory, his wealthy position with many female friends, and almost took his life, led to his total surrender so that everything he would then think say and do would all be to the greater glory of God. On this 500th anniversary, it seems appropriate we pray for the grace to contemplate our own cannonball experience.
I know I have certainly been examining my own cannonball moment this year. What about you? Can you remember any experiences that changed the direction of your life’s journey (this is what the word repent really means), that you slowly, and maybe even unknowingly at first, became a pilgrim headed toward a love-relationship with God? Another way to ask this is: Did one event in your life affect your conversion experience to such an extent that it changed your relationship with God?
This month would be a perfect time to look back over your life and see how God has used your experiences to bring you closer to him. Review your childhood and recall what images, statues, music, sacraments and people seemed to enhance your relationship with God. Then look at each decade in your 20’s, 30’s on up to your present age. Which experiences, prayer practices, outreach activities and people seemed to move you to offer what you do and who you are to God’s greater glory?
Next it is good to spend time with God on the not-so-obvious. God, show me those times when you changed my heart but I failed to notice. Show me those times when I thought I was doing something on my own but it was you all along. Show me those times when you protected me, healed me, forgave me, and always loved me.
From his spiritual exercises, Ignatius encourages us to ask: “What have I done for Christ? What am I doing for Christ? What ought I do for Christ?” The point here is to get in touch with God moving in our lives to such an extent, we get a sense of our own special calling from him to truly follow Christ. Sometimes this can only happen following a shake-up, a catastrophe or a cannonball experience. It only happens when we find the freedom to let go of everything that leads us away from God, and follow Christ to feed, clothe, shelter, heal, listen to and be with the outcasts, the helpless, the images of God we meet in everyday life.
On the surface, it may seem a little odd to celebrate the 500th anniversary of a debilitating, near-death experience of the crushing blow of a cannonball. But when that experience changes the direction of your life; when that experience allows you to empty yourself of everything worldly; when that experience calms you to the quiet introspection that you realize God is moving and even dancing within you, it really is something to celebrate. So, what about you? What is your cannonball experience?
